Radiating Sun Brings Fresh Life

The bags were moved aside along with the wicker magazine holder. The door’s lock mechanism unlatched. Slowly carefully, the door was opened and as it was the sun’s light streamed into the room radiating into every corner it could reach. The room suddenly looked cheerier, brighter than it had in years. Gone was the dismal feeling of depression and the claustrophobic sense of isolation that permeated this small room. A breeze circled through the room creating an airy freshness that had not been there in a long time.

The screen door unlatched making a rattling sound as it was opened and closed. The cement steps led down to the backyard where an old broken down washed out wooden picnic table stood forgotten with only rare moments of family sitting there. The grass was bright green and freshly kept and a big maple tree enveloped the yard bringing shade with splashes of sunlight shining through the covering of its branches.

A broom was found and the cobwebs and dirt were swept up between the door and the screen door leaving behind a clear spot for stepping out without concerns about carrying in dust and soot from years gone past. Pillows and sofa cushions were brought outside to be aired out. Blankets and sheets were washed, furniture dusted, and carpeting vacuumed.

This was a welcome home to someone who had been gone from her home for a month. In two days she would be returning after a long visit with family. As the finishing touches were put together a note was typed up in beautiful colors:

“Welcome Home

Mom!

We missed you!”

Penned underneath were the names of every family member that lived near her. As the note was placed into a prominent location where she would see it a sigh of relief was breathed.

Maybe it was because I was there often and she wasn’t there or maybe it was because I knew there could be a time when she would not be there for me to bring a gift of freshness to a dreary room, but with that sigh I felt joy and knew that it mattered to me. I I now know the potential of that room and what the sunlight and fresh air can do. It was as if the open door signified for me a new beginning for her. All that’s needed is to shine the light into her heart and soul and show her the potential that she can offer this world.

©Kimberly Balles 2017

via Daily Prompt: Radiate

You Unravel Me with a Melody

Zephaniah 3:17 says “The Lord your God is with you, he is might to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”

I struggle with fear and anxiety. The first time I heard this song at our church I thought it was written just for me. I love that music has the ability to cause me to feel emotions and connect with what I may be going through at that time. The first two lines of this song are so true for me “You unravel me with a melody, you surround me with a song, of deliverance from my enemies till all my fears are gone. He does unravel me with a melody and uses that to soothe my fears. He also uses other genres to speak to my heart and soul. I feel renewed and encouraged by music and especially Christian music.

I hope you enjoy the song.

 

via Daily Prompt: Unravel

Tenacious Prayers

I am reading a book now called The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson and he shared that in another book he was reading the author wrote “God does not answer vague prayers.” Mark says that “…most of us have no idea what we want God to do for us. And that’s why our prayers are boring to us and uninspiring to God.” He also said that “If our prayers aren’t specific, God gets robbed of the glory that He deserves because we second-guess whether or not he actually answered them.”

This struck me and I realized that my prayers are vague. I have been looking for a job as a Social Worker and have most of the time been vague in my requests. I haven’t had the faith to be more specific in my prayers. Writing down what type of job I want would at least give me clarity in what I am looking for and as he said will help me to know that God answered my prayer. Then joy would be bubbling up inside me not just from getting the job, but from knowing he answered my specific prayer.

What if I took the time to consider what I wanted and then prayed with faith and boldness the specifics of my desires and he answered my prayer? What if I was tenacious in my hold onto His promises and persistent in my pursuit of a job that God has planned for me? What if my faith became stronger in my faith as a result of taking the actions to present my requests to Him. Spending time with God, however, is something I have not been doing due to a grudge I have had against someone who has hurt me.  For how can I face a holy God if I have anger and hatred in my heart?

Inside my soul was dying and I felt disconnected from God. Yesterday, I not only chose to forgive myself and her and then let it go, but I wanted to. When I did, I felt peace for the first time in a long time and during worship yesterday was truly able to sing the songs from my heart instead of just singing them. I also find myself singing around the house now.

It took me two years to reach this point and I can point to different circumstances that led me to the ability to forgive. Do I still feel hurt sometimes? Yes. Was it wrong in how I was treated? Yes. Did I take a role in the situation? Yes. Forgiveness for both this person and myself leads to me being forgiven by my father in Heaven.

This scripture passage fitting this situation:

In Mark 11:22-25 Jesus says “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

Feeling loved and forgiven by my Father in Heaven! Thank you Jesus for your patience and never letting me go.

via Daily Prompt: Tenacious

Drumming

I love listening to drumming. It brings into my heart a thump that beats in time with the echoes of its sound. And if I have a chance to join in, I do so with eager anticipation of feeling the reverberation of it through my nerves that tingle with the vibration of each beat. Despite my inexperience, these drummers welcome me to share with them what can only be felt when I join them in the music of the soul. I experience the seriousness of the moment of connecting with the other drummers as well as the joy of the rhythm of each beat within my being. For in each of us flows the beat of the drum that can bring us out of our seriousness into a joyous thrill. If we stay with that joy we will be able to experience life’s wonderful opportunities and be open to more possibilities than we ever imagined.

Seriousness

Inspired by a video posted by

https://misspelicansperch.wordpress.com/2017/02/13/seriously-right/

 

Harmony

This is an easy daily prompt for me today as I wrote this in December. I am not even sure when I started doing the daily prompts, which could be why I did not have a link to it.

I just heard three vocalists sing “Silent Night, Holy Night”.  Each had their own unique style.  What struck me was when they all blended their voices together at the end singing in different ranges, yet harmonizing as one that I recalled the days when I was in a choir and another time when I took voice lessons.

In choir, we were taught the importance of not having one voice overpower the rest of the choir or group we were a part of.  If one voice dominates the group then the other parts are not heard and the choir is no longer a choir, but a soloist with a backup choir.

I took voice lessons, because I wanted to sing on the stage at my church which is a big church.  What I did not realize is how much time, energy, discipline, and natural talent is required to be a singer on the stage there.  Not only that it requires a willingness to be seen and a vulnerability to be open to criticism or feedback in order to improve your vocal ability.  I learned a lot during this time about how to improve my vocal ability, but without the pure natural talent, it created within me a feeling of knowing that it was not the ideal fit for me.  I did not have the self-discipline to fully invest myself into it.  I did not sense that this is what God was calling me to do, all I knew is that I wanted it and was going to get my way, whether God wanted it for me or not.

It was only when I was wrestling with God about it, that I finally reluctantly relinquished my desire to be a singer to pursue what I think was his calling on my life.  How do I know it’s his calling?  First off, it is a natural skill I have and was built upon and improved through therapy and education.  Secondly, many people have validated my skills and abilities about it.  Third, I myself have seen how I have been very good at helping others work through their issues.  When I feel I am being used by God in the way he wants me to then I know I am in that sweet spot that Max Lucado refers to in his book, “Cure for the Common Life:  Living in  Your Sweet Spot” by Max Lucado.

Now that I have graduated with a Masters in Social Work, my next step of faith is to find a job that can bring me to my goal.  My musical experiences will help me in the overall picture of pursuing God’s calling on my life.  There will be times that I will be a part of a professional team and there are other times where I will need to go solo.  It will require a step of faith trusting that God has His best intentions for me.

No one can sit by me and hold my hand to help me not to feel afraid.  I now have the tools I have learned in therapy and my education to both help me and others.  There is no guarantee that the next step will be my final goal.  It most likely won’t.  All I know for certain is I am not 100% satisfied with doing life the way I have been doing it.

As I step out in faith with boldness and courage I can take one step at a time.  Eventually, I will find a job and will experience satisfaction and feel God’s pleasure for me as I pursue his calling on my life.  Then I will hear the voices of those around me blending into one voice creating a harmony unlike any other I have experienced in my life.

©Kimberly Balles 2016 All Rights Reserved.

Harmony