I am reading a book now called The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson and he shared that in another book he was reading the author wrote “God does not answer vague prayers.” Mark says that “…most of us have no idea what we want God to do for us. And that’s why our prayers are boring to us and uninspiring to God.” He also said that “If our prayers aren’t specific, God gets robbed of the glory that He deserves because we second-guess whether or not he actually answered them.”
This struck me and I realized that my prayers are vague. I have been looking for a job as a Social Worker and have most of the time been vague in my requests. I haven’t had the faith to be more specific in my prayers. Writing down what type of job I want would at least give me clarity in what I am looking for and as he said will help me to know that God answered my prayer. Then joy would be bubbling up inside me not just from getting the job, but from knowing he answered my specific prayer.
What if I took the time to consider what I wanted and then prayed with faith and boldness the specifics of my desires and he answered my prayer? What if I was tenacious in my hold onto His promises and persistent in my pursuit of a job that God has planned for me? What if my faith became stronger in my faith as a result of taking the actions to present my requests to Him. Spending time with God, however, is something I have not been doing due to a grudge I have had against someone who has hurt me. For how can I face a holy God if I have anger and hatred in my heart?
Inside my soul was dying and I felt disconnected from God. Yesterday, I not only chose to forgive myself and her and then let it go, but I wanted to. When I did, I felt peace for the first time in a long time and during worship yesterday was truly able to sing the songs from my heart instead of just singing them. I also find myself singing around the house now.
It took me two years to reach this point and I can point to different circumstances that led me to the ability to forgive. Do I still feel hurt sometimes? Yes. Was it wrong in how I was treated? Yes. Did I take a role in the situation? Yes. Forgiveness for both this person and myself leads to me being forgiven by my father in Heaven.
This scripture passage fitting this situation:
In Mark 11:22-25 Jesus says “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
Feeling loved and forgiven by my Father in Heaven! Thank you Jesus for your patience and never letting me go.