Silence in Solitude

Many times I have heard people ask why God is silent when we are in our trials. I too have asked myself the same question. Perhaps it’s because I have not sat with Him in solitude. No distractions, no expectations but just sitting with Him and letting Him sit with me.

I was just typing a response to someone else who is experiencing a difficult time and trying to understand why she is not hearing from God and I wrote the following:

It may seem like God is silent, but He is very present with you and has this whole journey mapped out for you. Whatever you learn about yourself, God, your relationship with Him, and your experiences on this journey, know this He has not forgotten you. Maybe God is just sitting with you in silence. Sit with Him and instead of asking for answers, just be with Him. He who is the Leader of all came to earth and was willing to wash the feet of his disciples, spend time with sinners, and made the ultimate sacrifice to die for our sins.”

It really helped me to see it from this perspective, because I I think that may be what is going on. He sits with us and is not standing off on the sidelines always wanting to tell us our next step dolling out unwanted advice that we do not need in that moment.. Maybe He just wants to be our friend, confidant, and listener. He knows exactly what we need and perhaps His silence is not distance, but just Him being with us.

In a society of noise and distraction, we often have difficulty settling in to just be with Him and have Him be with us. How can we hear Him if we are listening to the to do list in our head clambering for attention or finding fault with ourselves or focusing on our problems without allowing ourselves to know that God has a bigger picture in mind and He is working out the details?

One of my favorite verses from Psalm 34:18 in the Bible says “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and comforts those who are crushed in Spirit.”  If you are going through a difficult time in your life right now, He is there always for that is what He has promised us as it says in Hebrews 13:5-6. “For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ So we may boldly say: ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?’ ”

As I end this, I have realized as I was writing that all of what I have written is for me to learn from. I don’t pretend to know it all or have all the right answers, all I know is that writing this has helped me to see Him in my own trial now. That to me is enough for me to lean on Him in solitude and rest on His shoulders.

©Kimberly Balles 2017 All Rights Reserved.

via Daily Prompt: Solitary

Shimmer Like Diamonds

My favorite way of relaxing that I don’t get to do often is to sit by some water, a pond, lake, or ocean. At the ocean, I love seeing the waves crashing along the beach and hearing the rush of water as it splashes onto the beach leaving behind the marine life and their habitat. I love gazing over the water’s surface and seeing the reflection of the sun shimmering like sparkling diamonds. Watching as the sun sets at the end of the horizon at the end of a day is perhaps my most favorite part of spending time by the water.

The closest body of water near me is a man made pond. When I am at the pond, I enjoy watching the different birds that exist along the edge and in the water. Whether it is geese, ducks, seagulls, or herons, I admire their beauty and their ability to frolic and just be in the moment both on land in the water.

I find these very relaxing times and it rejuvenates me so I can feel like I can tackle another hard day. As I look at the pace of my life these past couple of months, I realize I am overdue for a time to sit and be in nature enjoying the moment without attacking my to do list that runs through my mind from the time I wake up until the time I sleep.

Yes, I am long overdue and it is time I take time for myself.
 
Shimmer

©Kimberly Balles 2017 All Rights Reserved.

 

Family First

I miss blogging and reading everyone’s blogs. I have been taking care of my mother and it is a full time job from morning until night. She has been diagnosed with Dementia and the doctor said hers is dropping quickly instead of a steady decline. Thankfully we have special moments that I enjoy with her. Right now I am writing about this experience on my computer and maybe someday it will be used to help someone else or at least a way I can see the progression of the disease and have a record of those special moments I  experienced with her and quite a few tender ones for sure.

We are looking into assisted living places now, trying to get her moved out of her home, and get financial matters settled, but she is no longer able to participate in those discussions. I’d appreciate any prayers. No advice please, I am bombarded daily with things to do and there are not enough hours in the day to do them.

Do keep writing as we all know it keeps the juices flowing. I look forward to returning sometime in the future.

Kimberly Balles

Photos on the Tables

Photos on the tables
Families stuck in time
Different smiling faces
From days that have gone by

Some are old in black and white
And color picture recently
Joined together through generations
We are a family

We all need each other
As different as we are
For that is where our strength lies
And makes us what we are

We have come together
United as can be
Giving one another
Love so faithfully

©Kimberly Balles 2017 All Rights Reserved.

This came to my mind as I was looking around at my Mom’s house that has pictures on every table. Looking at the black and white pictures of generations ago made me wonder about them and who they are and what they were like.  Then there are pictures of family members that I know that have since passed and ones that are still alive. I have gone through boxes of stuff sorting out what to keep and what to discard and have come across pictures that I didn’t even know existed. It’s been a time preparing for my mom to move where she can get better care.

One valuable insight for me was to realize that all the stuff I am keeping will someday be discarded by someone else. So if I want some control of that, I need to do that sooner rather than waiting for another day. They will not fill my life as much as the relationships I have developed over the years.

 

Look the Other Way

A child is abused
Look the other way
Voices they are silenced
Look the other way

Those marks on her face
Look the other way
The yelling that you hear
Look the other way

Shootings are occurring
Look the other way
Murder in the city
Gangs are here to stay

Seniors are so lonely
Newspapers piled on each day
Though we start to wonder
We still look the other way

Homeless people begging
We look the other way
Despair upon their faces
We feel shame and guilt those days

HIV is rampant
In countries far away
We find ourselves so helpless
So we look the other way

With pleading eyes they seek
Some solace in our face
But rarely do we get involved
Instead we look away

Terrorists they kill
Innocent people die
Annihilating humans
For a cause they don’t deny

Refugees in crisis
Fleeing from their land
The homes that they loved
Bombed from wars at hand

Undocumented here
Pawns in the fight
Everyone claims
They know what is right

Trafficking of humans
Slaves they do become
Stuck in a nightmare of slavery
That has kept them so undone

Why does this happen?
We cry and exclaim
We point at each other
Upon each one we blame

We develop causes
To fight atrocities
Government gets involved
To help overseas

The horror all around us
Injustice and pain
Won’t somebody stop it?
Bring help to them again

Yet there’s people right here
Ignored by our eyes
Forgotten and unnoticed
Hidden and disguised

So do get involved
Volunteer if you care
You can’t help everyone
But someone needs you here

For if we work together
Changing lives today
We might just make a difference
And not look the other way

Radiating Sun Brings Fresh Life

The bags were moved aside along with the wicker magazine holder. The door’s lock mechanism unlatched. Slowly carefully, the door was opened and as it was the sun’s light streamed into the room radiating into every corner it could reach. The room suddenly looked cheerier, brighter than it had in years. Gone was the dismal feeling of depression and the claustrophobic sense of isolation that permeated this small room. A breeze circled through the room creating an airy freshness that had not been there in a long time.

The screen door unlatched making a rattling sound as it was opened and closed. The cement steps led down to the backyard where an old broken down washed out wooden picnic table stood forgotten with only rare moments of family sitting there. The grass was bright green and freshly kept and a big maple tree enveloped the yard bringing shade with splashes of sunlight shining through the covering of its branches.

A broom was found and the cobwebs and dirt were swept up between the door and the screen door leaving behind a clear spot for stepping out without concerns about carrying in dust and soot from years gone past. Pillows and sofa cushions were brought outside to be aired out. Blankets and sheets were washed, furniture dusted, and carpeting vacuumed.

This was a welcome home to someone who had been gone from her home for a month. In two days she would be returning after a long visit with family. As the finishing touches were put together a note was typed up in beautiful colors:

“Welcome Home

Mom!

We missed you!”

Penned underneath were the names of every family member that lived near her. As the note was placed into a prominent location where she would see it a sigh of relief was breathed.

Maybe it was because I was there often and she wasn’t there or maybe it was because I knew there could be a time when she would not be there for me to bring a gift of freshness to a dreary room, but with that sigh I felt joy and knew that it mattered to me. I I now know the potential of that room and what the sunlight and fresh air can do. It was as if the open door signified for me a new beginning for her. All that’s needed is to shine the light into her heart and soul and show her the potential that she can offer this world.

©Kimberly Balles 2017

via Daily Prompt: Radiate

Pink

This poem has been sitting in my drafts for the word prompt pink. Perhaps I might have already contributed and do not recall. Since I had put the time and effort into it, I wanted to share it with you all.

Pink its bold and bright
Prouder than any other
It seems to say to me
Please look my way and wonder

I’m one of many colors
But my colors have varied hues
You’ll see me in many places
Giving a different point of view

I am seen in many flowers
Tulips and rhododendrons to name a few
Strawberry ice cream and shakes
Sweeter than honeydew

Pink for baby girls
Tucked in snuggled cribs
Wrapped tightly in a blanket
All comfortable and fed

Ribbons, bracelets, earrings
Accents women adore
Scarves around their neck
Displaying colors for sure

For now I’ll enjoy the beauty
Of many colors too
But strikingly I find
Pink is my favorite hue

©Kimberly Balles 2017

via Daily Prompt: Pink